ode to an unfaithful 'friend'

seems like an odd name for a blog, huh....well, the idea is to immortalise..not the person, but the deed...............not for anything but simply to serve as a reminder to ur own self to what depths of treachery can a 'friend' fall...

'friend' and 'friendship' are sacred words..specially for fools of our age.poor us.... poor, silly, stupid, naive, us...we think just because we have 1 'friend' beside us, we can make enemies out of the whole world..and the most amazing part??....the very ones u swore to be ur 'enemies', them coming to ur help when u r left all alone and lonely, while ur 'friend' flits away, selecting the next prey!!

and even if u knew who the poor guy was, u have to keep mum because of the risk of 'poisoning' minds...wow.......

i mean really.......here u all r in d same place & ur 'friend' finds another guy absolutely intolerable..to such an extent that d 'friend' stops all contacts with him and abuses him to all who would care to listen (well, the select few, never to the guy's loyalists, mind u).......now when ur 'friend' is where the guy's now.....and now that d 'friend' speaks to him, even meets him...u wonder, has d 'friend' turned over a new leaf?? and then it strikes u...............NO silly, d friend' has gone to an unknown city and needs all the help and contacts to settle in..and what do u do??well.....u can only be a mute spectator, refusing to discuss all these with even the people involved....and why not, can u really change anything by speaking out??

u all r busy with the projects which carries lot of weightage for ur finals...d 'friend' keeps texting u everyday to help her, to go here and there,to provide the contacts needed, to share all the sundry details.......and u do, all of the above ofcourse, along with providing a topic for the most important project.......so, what happens to u??........

when u need d 'friend' 's help, ur snubbed, rejected, not spoken to....and all the promises of help, don't u know by now......dey r all hollow & empty.

can u really explain all that u felt to anyone......no u can't... can u really change anything by yelling and screaming to others?? (but yes, u do those too)

u get to know from a virtual stranger that d 'friend' has not only bad mouthed u, but also ur partner and has cast doubts over ur relationship, well..............ur still trying to come to terms with it...

ur dis beloved, trusted, much relied upon 'friend' of a year and half believes a stranger just met on orkut over u....that too when u haven't actually discussed d 'friend' in question, but something entirely different.......ur not only abused, but maligned, labelled a 'bitch" and "cheap"........u can only try to laugh it away, but u can't coz u have been dissolved into tears which simply won't stop...

and all the time that ur trying to be brave and keeping ur hurt and cries a secret, ur breaking inside, aware that something has changed and u'll never be the same again.......u keep telling urself that things will b ok...but ur praying them to, coz u can't believe anything anymore...

ur mind (and heart) keeps bringing the memories alive.....and all u can do is try to look for a sign that u missed......and guess what.........clues gallore.

..all that u had ignored, forgotten or thought to be unimportant comes to haunt u now, but u...u only have urself to be pissed off at.

what u'd really like to d is to hate thi 'friend' of urs, but u can't....coz u love d 'friend' too much....still.

and even though u know d 'friend' to be undeserving and unworthy, u can't really do much but make a list of what not to do with the people u meet in future.....but as for now, u keep seeking respite saying:

"Does it hurt to know I'll never be there

Bet it sucks, to see my face everywhere

It was you, who chose to end it like you did

I was the last to know

You knew exactly what you were doing

And don't say, you simply lost your way

They may believe you but

I never will

I never will

I never will

Never again"

it's not that the end of 'friendship' that really gets u, friends do drift away, misinterpretations do happen......but what bewilder u are the deliberation and the determination with which ur heart was tossed out and trodden on.... so violently that ur still shaking inside.
the only reason that u'd like to remember or 'immortalise' as earlier put, is coz ur so tired of being the one to be always blamed and always left out, that u want to imprint this on ur memory so that something like this never, ever happens to u again...

and even while ur writing this, trying to vent out, a word keeps echoing inside u, like it has been doing for days...............

''WHY....OH, WHY???"